Melbourne Swag

Dear Jesus Lover,

we have saved the best of Melbourne for last.  The trendiness of the city makes it impossible to have just one absolute favourite place to spend His Vatican bonds.  Who better than the masters at Harry Wragg to show the good Lord how to mix vintage and new.  It also helps that they really do have the best A-grade shit in town!

Mim shared with His Holiness the delights of one of a kind shoe designs.

The Lord even managed to sneak a little fun in the changing rooms!  It was a case of “What happens in Melbourne, stays in Melbourne” for this Brit tourist!

Group photo with His churchmice and the newly acquired fashion investments.  Armed with these acquisitions, the trendy generation will have no choice but to take notice of the Saviour, even if it’s the outfit and not the preaching.  As the marketing gurus say, “Any attention is good attention!”.

The Lord was spent after that fashion flurry at Harry Wragg.  He learned a few lessons on how to up His swag.  This called for a trip to Koko Black!

It was just what the doctor ordered….

Since He had His fill of milk chocolate, He had the tart and got some dark chocolate for later.

 The Lord is pleased with His flock in Melbourne, they have excelled at the most important aspects of life; food, fashion and opulent surroundings.  He will be back with more Vatican bonds to check that they have made further progress.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

Get some swag at Harry Wragg.

Arrivederci Amalfi, Ti Amo!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is spending his last day on the Amalfi Coast. He is spending today, tying up loose ends and finishing his trip on a high. After some much needed rays and SFA (sweet fuck all) at the pebbled beach, he tottles off to the Cathedral of Amalfi.

No mountain too high, no hill to steep!

“Come follow me” – words that St. Andrew followed, look what he got for it.

…A pretty crypt on one of the best coast in the world (location, location, location). It pays to be a fisherman and follow strangers! Jesus will be heading back home after a long trip living la dolce vita and is glad to know that his houses are still raking in the dollars. He shared his life with you, the least you could do is share some dollars with him. Bible sales up!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Cruising To Capri

Dear Jesus Lover,

today The Lord is day tripping over to the luxury resort littered island of Capri. The Vatican budget did not include stays in the place where Beyonce and Jay-Z hang in the summer.

Working on his eurotrash tan.

Not quite La Paolino but He was on a tight budget and strict instructions to rub shoulders with the common middle class.

Another standard tourist shot at Faraglione.

Keeping with the budget theme – even for transportation.

On his last day, The Messiah will wind up his trip and tying up some loose ends.  He cannot wait to head home , he misses Wheeze who stayed away from the hot weather (she melts easily).

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

 

 

Ravelling In Ravello

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord apologises for his slight blogging hiatus. There has been a tragedy in his church mice colony and Wheeze & Squeak were given time off to cope with this.

 

Jesus is continuing his SFA at the Amalfi Coast. Today, Claudio took him to Ravello. He will be visiting the musical stage and 2 of the main villas there.

 

“Children – listen to me preach!”

The Lord loves Ravello, a favourite haunt for similar legends of biblical proportions for example the late Greta Garbo, Tennesse Williams and Sara Teasdale. The Ravello Festival when the musical geniuses gather, started in remembrance of  Richard Wagner, the tickets attract a heafty sum annually. The let The Messiah take stage despite being slightly tone deaf.

He then hopped skipped and jumped in Villa Rufolo and Villa Cimbrone where there horizon meets the sea.

Standard tourist shot – a must!

In the courtyard before walking on the Judas tree lined walkway. Trust Judas to want to steal the limelight!

The Lord really enjoyed his time in Ravello. He enjoys spending time with the musicians who love GREENERY as an inspiration for good music!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Take Me To Amalfi

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is done with these city folk (ie. american tourist) and is heading off to the Amalfi Coast. Like a true Italian; he does not want to spend summer in the city!

“Trenitalia Eurostar – free snacks to those in first class”

Claudio the driver – manoeuvred the hairpin turns of Amalfi like a pro.

(Jesus still couldn’t help himself but backseat drive)

True SFA

Jesus wants to remind all his readers that whale watching should only be done out at sea. He smites those that spoilt the scenery by making him “beach whale watch” instead.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Leaving The Past

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has realised that he has spent a large proportion (he likes large proportions) of his time living in the past. Today he decides to shake it up, visiting an exhibit from Testino.

Have to admire a man who can get models to drop their clothes in a second and get into every position you ask them.

Jesus’s suspicion was put to a rest – Kate Moss leaves a bush!

He is of biblical proportions – no one said he was large.

The Lord then decided to do some conspicuous consumption of leather goods. The italians sure provide good skin.  He finished off his day visiting Farnesina, keeping in with the contemporary theme.

Removing the need for his disciples to wash his feet. Its a democracy.

Rock On, 

Wheeze & SQueak

Romping in Villa Borghese

Dear Jesus Lover,

thank fuck the business part of the trip is out of the way. After a few weeks in Italy, Jesus has soaked up a lot of the Dolce Vita culture. He starts his day like any self-respecting Roman with a Maranchino at the bar. Cheaper than chips or the Australian $3.00 per coffee.

 

The Lord loved their matchy outfits and the view at his eye-level!!

After a great start to his morning enjoying his coffee and biscotti, The Lord headed to Villa Borghese. He will never forgive Pope Paul V for letting his nephew turn this once vineyard into a park! The blasphemy.

This could have been an alcoholic fountain. Clear disappointment.

Squeak took Jesus on a joyride so he can feel the wind through his beard and watch the passerbys.

When in Rome do as the romans do – wear a toga and have slaves to do your dirty.

He enjoyed his day doing Sweet Fuck All. He finished of his night with a decision to dine in.

Just how he likes it – abundant, cheap and quick.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak