Leaving The Past

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has realised that he has spent a large proportion (he likes large proportions) of his time living in the past. Today he decides to shake it up, visiting an exhibit from Testino.

Have to admire a man who can get models to drop their clothes in a second and get into every position you ask them.

Jesus’s suspicion was put to a rest – Kate Moss leaves a bush!

He is of biblical proportions – no one said he was large.

The Lord then decided to do some conspicuous consumption of leather goods. The italians sure provide good skin.  He finished off his day visiting Farnesina, keeping in with the contemporary theme.

Removing the need for his disciples to wash his feet. Its a democracy.

Rock On, 

Wheeze & SQueak


Sweet Sistine Part Una.

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Little Messiah tottled off to the Musei Vaticani.


He may have cut the queue with his pre-booked ticket. But nothing in life is free – even a visit to his homes cost him.

A light lunch followed by a wipe down with raspberry wipes. Keeping it clean.

He was glad to find a mini version so he could plan his journey.

“Child – forget the artwork, I am here”

He then made it to the packed corridors.

Sometimes your job is hard but you must power along, after all Michelangelo did put in more effort than this to decorate His house.

Stay tuned as Jesus meanders his way through the Vatican!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak









Pilgrimage To The Heroic Male Nude

Dear Jesus Lover,

today, The Lord will make his way along the river to visit Micheangelo’s David.

Fingerstach change, to avoid identification!

“Queueing is for commoners”

The Messiah made an quick entry into the Galleria dell’ Accademia and made a beeline for his uncircumcised friend.

David was allowed to hog the limelight.

Dear Jesus Lover, this brings up another important life lesson. Never judge a book by its hand and feet, clearly in this case it is disproportionate in a disappointing sense.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Pinacoteca for me…

Dear Jesus Lover,

continuing on from the theme of soaking in the culture yesterday, Jesus is off to the Pinacoteca di Brera . A lovely art gallery that used to be an old convent. He knew that there was always better uses to convents than storing nuns.

Parking his bicycle.

Like all things Milanese, plain on the outside, fabulous on the inside! Follow the arrows!

Nothing new. Walking the convent corridors and  looking down on his children.

Although The Messiah again was not allowed to photographs his doings on the inside, no trip to a museum is complete without a visit to the gift shop.

Frivolous spending at the gift shop.

Jesus got postcards of his favourite paintings from the gallery. On the right another Last Supper by Rubens. Not quite as good as Da Vinci’s. No knot, no ripple effect and they may have broke the bread too early. On the left The Kiss by Francesco Hayez shows 2 lovers kissing with a shadow lurking on the left. Don’t you hate peeping Toms! Other works that took him down memory lane included the marriage of his mother and The Holy Conversation.

If you send an email with your name (real or one made with good fakery) and your mailing address  to god_blog@yahoo.co.uk the Little Messiah will send out one of these postcards to you. He loves buying useless crap for his children.

Afterwards he enjoyed a leisurely lunch at Obika. It may be a chain but it is no McDonalds!

This is how the last supper should have gone down.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Taking it slow…

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord has decided all the excitement of the last few days is a bit much.  Today He takes it slow and just soaks up the atmosphere in the glorious city with a wander in an antiques market and a quick visit to Musée de Cluny (National Modern Age Museum) in anticipation of His visit to the Louvre.  Taking it slow – cultural foreplay!

The Messiah loves how even the art depicts Parisians as androgynous beauties!

Love how his suffering is depicted in gold.  Blinging!

He doesn’t remember getting Himself into such situations and blames it on the cross-eyed tavern owner who said the wine was on the house.

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.  Everybody needs a bosom.

Rock sur,

Wheeze & SQueak