Holy Hispanico!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord was suffering a little Gertrude Street withdrawal from his recent Melbourne visit. Therefore, he decided to take a stroll down Surry Hills Crown Street to help cushion his come down.

The cafe culture was not as good but he came across this interesting individual:

Such an avid Jesus Lover!

 This smiley gentleman even let him tap dance on the old cash register. Another fine example of when old is gold!

“Child, you have it wrong, I am supposed to brand you.”

 Jesus marvelled at the giant rubber stamp they used to brand their paper bags. Sometimes manual labour just adds that extra touch. He looked around at the offerings of the store of fair trade sourced merchandise. Ahh..the array of crosses, sugar skulls and portraits of one of his finer children Frida Kahlo on offer.

He left with a small purchase..

“SQueak – get the bag!”

Next time you are in the mood for some sugar skulls or some insane accessories don’t forget to check out Holy Kitsch where you will get service with a smile. Jesus gives this store his blessing!!

Rock On!

Wheeze & Squeak

Holy Kitsch: http://www.holykitsch.com.au/pages/stores-trading-hours


Rescuing The Messiah

Dear Jesus Lover,

we met at the rendezvous point – a popular Mexican restaurant.  We were happy to find the Messiah in good health with all fingers and toes intact!  We were surprised to find the kidnappers sitting at the bar with the Messiah.  They said they had kidnapped Him because they thought He was a down and out actor hopeful taking the piss out of the Lord as a lookalike.  They crap their pants when they realised they tied up the real deal and were extremely apologetic.  They used the profits from the week’s drug takings to buy the Lord dinner and drinks!

Mexicans are really Jesus Lovers.

Nothing beats a good enchilada with hot sauce.  20c daredevil!  The Lord is bringing the heat!

With the sugar skull at the bar.  The party’s just getting started!!!

What else but TEQUILA!!!  Shots for everybody!

His Holiness showed everyone how it’s done.  With gusto!

Then was table top dancing…  He shook what Mother Mary gave Him.

And a margarita bath!  Sweet Jesus!!

Who needs SFA when you’re celebrating with tequila!

It was a good night.  What we can remember of it.  We are pleased His Holiness is back!!

Roca sobre la,

Wheeze & SQueak

We Have Word!

Dear Jesus Lover,

we have word!  The Mexicans sent us these photos.  And a little hand written note.


Please click on image to read the note.



We are set to meet them tomorrow to collect the Lord and pay the ransom.

Wheeze & SQueak






*A big thank you to the Two Notty Boys for their YouTube video How to Tie the Zip Snare – Rope Bondage Knot Tutorial available for your academic development at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naxvA8Nh_HI

Mexican Cartel Takes Jesus

Dear Jesus Lover,

His Holiness decided to take a stroll in the park this morning to take in the sights of home again and smell the smoke-free air.

He was sitting on the bench humming Amazing Grace to Himself when He felt a tap on His shoulder and hard object being pressed into His side.

Initially He felt excited about this unique pick up line.  Then He realised their intentions were not honourable!

They’ve taken Jesus!!!

We are beside ourselves with worry!!!

Wheeze & SQueak