Jesus’s Final Firenze

Alas, dear Jesus Lover,

today is the last day The Messiah will be touring Florence. He decided to start his morning re-visiting some of the city’s famous sculptures.

First stop:

Good fakery.

He then visited the Uffizi Museum, overflowing with precious works.

Our Saviour had quite a lot of ground to cover.

He found better modes of transportation.

And more exciting pursuits – gelato!

1.2kg of pure florentine MEAT.

“arrevedici Firenzi”

The Lord watches the sun set on his last night in Florence. Tomorrow, back to business, visiting Roma.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

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Chronical of “Under The Thumb”

Dear Jesus Lover,

today The Lord will show you a perfect example that all men are “under the thumb”.

Take perfect specimen:

“Its a lady’s way or the highway bitches”

Vasari’s Corridor! Commissioned to be built by one of the Dukes from the powerful Florentine Medici family in 1954. His son Francesco married a fierce woman who did not believe living near a sewer was glamours she demanded that Francesco lives a million miles from work. So this elevated covered walk-way was built to ensure a safe passage to work and a constant reminder that women rule!  Even Hitler loved the idea.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Strolling Florence

Dear Jesus Lover,

today Jesus will be on a light itinerary. Nothing too touristy just strolling the cobblestone streets. He enjoyed the bird’s eye view of the city

Yes, another Duomo to spoil the view.

Santa Maria Del Fiore. A world heritage site and perfect example of passing the buck.

Illuminati – not so secret society. Rather; an easy find.

Chomping on some gourmet panini.

Outside the panini shop, an olive tree, a reminder that the mafia still rules.

Remembering the fallen.

A memorial of when the mafia left a car bomb that killed the innocent. A moment of silence.

Jesus hopes to brighten the mood soon…..maybe a visit to the fake David to lift his mood amongst other things.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

 

 

 

Firenzi’s Ferragamo

Dear Jesus Lover,

Firenzi is famous for the Renaissance but it is also famous for footwear. Jesus could not give up an opportunity to view the works of another of his talented Italian children, Ferragamo, who fit some famous smelly feet!

 

Finding a shoe that may fit. Heels or no heels?

The Ferragamo museum was most insightful on the current shoes being produced by this fashion house. Clearly what is old is new again ….

…or maybe just sheer lack of genius

Viewing the shoes were not enough, The Messiah had to go to the original store and perform some conspicious consumption.

“Open sesame!!” Tax refund = 10 % discount!

Yet another great Florentine! Fendi!

He finished his night off at this cute Florentine tratorria.

 Lust and gluttony, cute waiters and I want them all!

The Little Messiah retired with a full belly and *hic happy with the view.

 

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

Pilgrimage To The Heroic Male Nude

Dear Jesus Lover,

today, The Lord will make his way along the river to visit Micheangelo’s David.

Fingerstach change, to avoid identification!

“Queueing is for commoners”

The Messiah made an quick entry into the Galleria dell’ Accademia and made a beeline for his uncircumcised friend.

David was allowed to hog the limelight.

Dear Jesus Lover, this brings up another important life lesson. Never judge a book by its hand and feet, clearly in this case it is disproportionate in a disappointing sense.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Firenze Light My Fire!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has landed in this Tuscan heaven. Firenze, the city that has it all. The birthplace of the Renaissance, feuding families, fashion and art!

River Arno or giant sewer?

Pampering! Children luxury is not a sin!

The Lord checked in to his charming accommodation. Italian toiletries and overindulgent buffet breakfasts daily are mandatory.

Once a city filled with cobblestone streets smeared with human excrement, Florence has come a long way. The Messiah looks forward to spending some time in this now beautiful city and checking out David’s anatomy. If Firenze itself cannot light his fire, David specifically will!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak