Romping in Villa Borghese

Dear Jesus Lover,

thank fuck the business part of the trip is out of the way. After a few weeks in Italy, Jesus has soaked up a lot of the Dolce Vita culture. He starts his day like any self-respecting Roman with a Maranchino at the bar. Cheaper than chips or the Australian $3.00 per coffee.


The Lord loved their matchy outfits and the view at his eye-level!!

After a great start to his morning enjoying his coffee and biscotti, The Lord headed to Villa Borghese. He will never forgive Pope Paul V for letting his nephew turn this once vineyard into a park! The blasphemy.

This could have been an alcoholic fountain. Clear disappointment.

Squeak took Jesus on a joyride so he can feel the wind through his beard and watch the passerbys.

When in Rome do as the romans do – wear a toga and have slaves to do your dirty.

He enjoyed his day doing Sweet Fuck All. He finished of his night with a decision to dine in.

Just how he likes it – abundant, cheap and quick.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak


The Big 0

Dear Jesus Lover,


friday has come around again. Usually The Messiah uses his Friday afternoons to get ready for his weekend appearances. However, this friday is an exception. Since His Holiness will be going away soon, he will actually be working the weekend, drumming up  new followers and doing spot checks on His houses.


So this friday he has his lunch break while catching up on a few current affairs.


“Minion get me a pair of Spanx. If Oprah likes it, it must be good”

He enjoys his lunch watching an0ther icon of biblical proportions on television. With his Columbian fair trade coffee of course.

Rock On

Wheeze and SQueak

Peasant’s Feast

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord was feeling a little nostalgic today. After a tiresome morning at the office he decided that he would take a walk to clear his mind and grab his own coffee for a change.  The administrative minions were exempt from the coffee run this time.

He came across a sweet little cafe serving a staple from the Before Christ Era with flare*.

“You got my order? Regular latte one sugar – not stirred or shaken. Just beautifully frothed.”

Whilst waiting for his coffee, he  made small talk with another iconic superstar of biblical proportions; Mr. Potato Head.

“Yeah could put you in at verse 1:25 – eat thy carbs, ye must have junk in ye trunk.  Ye partner needs to grab some meat.”

The Messiah supports the little people and authenticity.  Fair trade Colombian roasted coffee.

Jesus loves an exotic flavour, diversifying from the italian variety.

He sipped his full cream latte by the window humming to his himself  ” When Pointus comes to kill the king upon his throne.  I’m ready for their stones. I’ll dance dance dance with my hands above my head head head.  Like Jesus said”.**


On occasion, even Jesus indulges in some narcissism.  He can, after all, he was resurrected.  We are not so sure about you dear Jesus Lover so exercise your narcissism with care.

Also don’t forget your white T-shirts on a rainy day!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak


*His Holiness would like to thank:

Mad Spuds Cafe : 479 Crown St, Surry Hills.  Ph: 9698 8108 (follow them on Twitter)

** Lyrics from Bloody Mary by Lady GaGa (Jesus having some mommy issues?)