Caramelise The World…

Dear Jesus Lover,

it’s that time of year for me to plan a partay!

Once a year you illuminate phallus shaped objects in my honour.

Mammary gland disguised as rotary device – nice one zumbo!

Tasting the party food amongst his villagers.

Kawaii animae GROs*!

Going in for the purchase, not just the average free – sample. Trying is for buying.

Roman catholics provide the best service. “Milo, please!”

Spares, cos Santa ALWAYS rapes the buffet.

Happy ending. Always.

Don’t forget this is the season for giving not just receiving. Be silly but safe.

God’s choice:

Adriano Zumbo Patissier: 80 Pyrmont Street, Pyrmont

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak


* GRO = guest relation officer.

 

Rush of Blood to The Head

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord was taking a walk along His building when he came across familiar pleasure giving devices – ropes and harnesses!

Restrain me!

Like all good submissives he followed the rope….

So many implements! This will be the best ride of his life.

Getting ready for some absailing baby!

Loves a good game of Snakes and Ladders!

Getting at it from different angles!

Sydney city backdrop!

Best left to those with experience!

Children – don’t try this at home, leave it to the professionals.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

Soaking Up The Last of The Sun

Dear Jesus Lover,

today is the Lord’s last day in the Gold Coast.  He decided to squeeze in a little bit more tanning before He caught His flight home.  Only in the Gold Coast can you get a tan in winter!

GTL.  Never neglect Tan even if G and L are somewhat impossible.

He waited for His taxi in the lobby.  Killing two birds with one stone and catching the last bit of QL rays.

To the airport and pronto please!!!  I have a Virgin to catch!

 Although He understood that self-service was a necessary evil, the experience lacked the personal touch.

The Messiah will miss the cheerful people from the Gold Coast and the sunshine.

Rock on,

 Wheeze & SQueak

Science Week? Put Your Reading Glasses ON!

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord heard a rumour that lots of nerdy animal healers had converged in the Gold Coast for some sort of yearly academic tradition.  He decided to take a trip down to check out the nerdy animal healers and show them His support.

TAXI!!!!  He didn’t want to be late for the awards ceremony, the dinner and most importantly – the drinks!

40 years!  Toast?! TOAST!!

 He realised that most of these vets hide behind poorly made assumptions.  They are not nerdy!  The Lord enjoyed the night seeing the bottom of shot glasses…

Hic.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Pleasures of Black Masked Men

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord was leisurely strolling along the street hoping to bump into more meter maids and looking for a place to top up on His cigarettes when He spotted these outside the tobacconist!

He was intrigued.  They were sort of like Kenny off South Park but more well dressed.

It appeared they weren’t intrigued.  Just smitten.  They came in handy for a lift to the counter when He was asking for His Lucky Strikes.

 The Lord was appalled at the poor suture work but likes the idea of spares.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak  

Still Rocking it Hard! (2)

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord loves the Hard Rock hospitality so much he celebrates His children and embraces His feminine side with a perfectly mixed glass of liquid joy.

He loves the extra large glasses.  They know their Messiah likes it BIG.

He was very merry thanks to effective glass sizes and stood on the tables to pose for photos.  Had to show everyone that He is the ultimate Superstar!

Post liquid lunch He supported the franchise by purchasing a commemorative cap.  It might not be His prefered style but He had to show some love.

He paid tribute to the other King.  King of rock and roll!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak