Still Rocking it Hard! (2)

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord loves the Hard Rock hospitality so much he celebrates His children and embraces His feminine side with a perfectly mixed glass of liquid joy.

He loves the extra large glasses.  They know their Messiah likes it BIG.

He was very merry thanks to effective glass sizes and stood on the tables to pose for photos.  Had to show everyone that He is the ultimate Superstar!

Post liquid lunch He supported the franchise by purchasing a commemorative cap.  It might not be His prefered style but He had to show some love.

He paid tribute to the other King.  King of rock and roll!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak  

Advertisements

Hard Rock Cafe (1)

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Messiah thought he’d grab an iconic bite before hitting the beach again.  What better place than the Hard Rock Cafe?

The iconic at iconic places.

The Lord was very pleased with the warm and enthusiastic welcome.

It was better than Hooters and their “see no touch” policy.  He liked how the staff here worked up his appetite.

He chose to go with the latest fad diet.  A liquid lunch.  Less calories than a double burger and He walks (read: stumbles) out happier!

The perfect starter… Maybe a Margarita for the main?  He is fond of them Mexicans.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Rescuing The Messiah

Dear Jesus Lover,

we met at the rendezvous point – a popular Mexican restaurant.  We were happy to find the Messiah in good health with all fingers and toes intact!  We were surprised to find the kidnappers sitting at the bar with the Messiah.  They said they had kidnapped Him because they thought He was a down and out actor hopeful taking the piss out of the Lord as a lookalike.  They crap their pants when they realised they tied up the real deal and were extremely apologetic.  They used the profits from the week’s drug takings to buy the Lord dinner and drinks!

Mexicans are really Jesus Lovers.

Nothing beats a good enchilada with hot sauce.  20c daredevil!  The Lord is bringing the heat!

With the sugar skull at the bar.  The party’s just getting started!!!

What else but TEQUILA!!!  Shots for everybody!

His Holiness showed everyone how it’s done.  With gusto!

Then was table top dancing…  He shook what Mother Mary gave Him.

And a margarita bath!  Sweet Jesus!!

Who needs SFA when you’re celebrating with tequila!

It was a good night.  What we can remember of it.  We are pleased His Holiness is back!!

Roca sobre la,

Wheeze & SQueak

The Louvre

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord is all psyched up for the art at the Lourve!  There’s too much to cram into this resurrection, so He has done his best and purchased a 3 day pass.

The mandatory pyramid photo.  Yet another icon in Phallic Paris!

He cut the queue that stretched forever to get in.  Purchase your tickets online.  He has given you the gift of the Internet!

He was pleased to see many of His subjects soaking in the culture.

Like any experienced traveller, He got a map and planned is route of attack!  The main aim – to see the Mona Lisa!  He’s always been intrigued why Leo painted that smug bitch.

He grabbed a quick drink and was appalled by the lack of alcoholic beverages!!!  The French should stay true to themselves and sell some wine!  Art is best appreciated under the influence (you may read into that).

Tomorrow His Holiness admires the beauty of the sculptures and tries to answer the eternal question, “Why are their dicks so small???”

Rock sur,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

 

The Lord’s Day

Dear Jesus Lover,

it’s the Sabbath, a day I have sanctified just for you, strangers and your animals to put your feet up and do SFA*.  Appreciate my wisdom and heed my word. I have forbidden you to cook, carry burdens or load your animals.  Instead enjoy a Sunday roast, complete with Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes and garden vegetables.  Wash this fine meal down with beer and continue doing SFA* for your time is limited and you will soon be required to graft again.

Yorkshire puddings will rise before me.

Do not load your animals.  Find better uses for them.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

*SFA = Sweet Fuck All

It’s the Weekend!

Dear Jesus Lovers,

although the Messiah is not gainfully employed, He still looks forward to a bit of chill time.  It’s Saturday!  And if He should see fit to bless you with warmth and sunshine, go converge at beer gardens and all other establishments of pleasure.  Carry this pleasure on way into the night for unlike Him, you only live once.

 

 

All beer is good.  Work hard so you may be able to afford better varieties.

 

He gets all the best invites.

 

Go forth and make the most of your weekend. 

 

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak