Victorian Opulence

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lords took His chruchmice to the trendy city of Melbourne, much like a school trip but they flew Virgin Blue instead of taking the bus.  If there is only one thing He could take from His extensive travels it is; location, location, location.  They checked into the Grand Hyatt, a 5 star luxury hotel smack bang in the middle of Collins Street.  He loves the perks of having a flock which is afraid of being judged by their neighbours when the collection box gets passed round.

 Only a high floor would do, obviously – look at the view!

It reminded Him of one of Pitbull’s top 40 hits…

 ♫ Baby you can get it, if you with it we can play    

Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay    

Even got a king size mattress we can lay    

Baby I don’t care, I don’t care what they say    

I know you want me, want me    

 You know I want cha, want cha

But the sound of Wheeze and Squeak’s incessant chattering brought Him back to reality.

Where the Holiday Inn doesn’t provide L-shaped sofas, essential in the practice of proper lounging…

As with most things, BIGGER is BETTER!  His Holiness also appreciated the sleek, black design.  Silver TVs aren’t nearly as classy.

 

The Lord loves how in trying to provide everything, the hotel grouped all unnecessary items on the nightstand.

And all the necessary items together.

Look out Melbourne!!!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Ravelling In Ravello

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord apologises for his slight blogging hiatus. There has been a tragedy in his church mice colony and Wheeze & Squeak were given time off to cope with this.

 

Jesus is continuing his SFA at the Amalfi Coast. Today, Claudio took him to Ravello. He will be visiting the musical stage and 2 of the main villas there.

 

“Children – listen to me preach!”

The Lord loves Ravello, a favourite haunt for similar legends of biblical proportions for example the late Greta Garbo, Tennesse Williams and Sara Teasdale. The Ravello Festival when the musical geniuses gather, started in remembrance of  Richard Wagner, the tickets attract a heafty sum annually. The let The Messiah take stage despite being slightly tone deaf.

He then hopped skipped and jumped in Villa Rufolo and Villa Cimbrone where there horizon meets the sea.

Standard tourist shot – a must!

In the courtyard before walking on the Judas tree lined walkway. Trust Judas to want to steal the limelight!

The Lord really enjoyed his time in Ravello. He enjoys spending time with the musicians who love GREENERY as an inspiration for good music!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

The Smite-ing Ground

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is headed in his Prada toga to the Colosseum. A place where everything and anything was done in the name of a good time.

 

” When is the venation*

“All the stray lambs that I need to lead to slaughter”

The Messiah was disappointed at the lack of bloodshed on the day. Gone are the good ‘ol times of reenactment and unnecessary death – damn these public liability laws and common decency!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

* venatio = animal hunt

Leaving The Past

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has realised that he has spent a large proportion (he likes large proportions) of his time living in the past. Today he decides to shake it up, visiting an exhibit from Testino.

Have to admire a man who can get models to drop their clothes in a second and get into every position you ask them.

Jesus’s suspicion was put to a rest – Kate Moss leaves a bush!

He is of biblical proportions – no one said he was large.

The Lord then decided to do some conspicuous consumption of leather goods. The italians sure provide good skin.  He finished off his day visiting Farnesina, keeping in with the contemporary theme.

Removing the need for his disciples to wash his feet. Its a democracy.

Rock On, 

Wheeze & SQueak

Sweet Sistine Part Due

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Little Messiah was making his way through the hallways – it reminded him of his days in the mosh pits, minus the smell of green but the body odours have not changed much.

family fresco!

 Me, mommy and god!

Sistine Chapel: No photos allowed – probably due to the copyright image laws imposed by those Japs.

Good fakery – surprised no stamp saying made in china.

Always neatly trimmed hedges.

One for the mantle.

An “I AM JESUS, BOW BEFORE ME” moment.

Good work Benedict XVI.

The visit made the Messiah feel at ease. Benedict was doing his best, raking in the dollars with audio guides and unnecessary merchandise. Only tip: more controversy to keep the church current! Somehow he feels those catholic priest have this area well and truly covered.

Now, to enjoy the rest of his holiday!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Sweet Sistine Part Una.

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Little Messiah tottled off to the Musei Vaticani.

 

He may have cut the queue with his pre-booked ticket. But nothing in life is free – even a visit to his homes cost him.

A light lunch followed by a wipe down with raspberry wipes. Keeping it clean.

He was glad to find a mini version so he could plan his journey.

“Child – forget the artwork, I am here”

He then made it to the packed corridors.

Sometimes your job is hard but you must power along, after all Michelangelo did put in more effort than this to decorate His house.

Stay tuned as Jesus meanders his way through the Vatican!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting Sorted.

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has made it safely to his modest quarters.  Despite the paper thin walls and drab carpets He is impressed by the aspect that the balcony provides.

Work on your GTL (gym, tan, laundry) – the Holy Trinity of life.  Maybe just T if you are on holiday.  No one likes a pasty shag.

Catching up on some light reading, wonder what the royals are up to this week?

He then heads to the local tourist information centre.

Too many choices.

He was annoyed that there was a serious lack of service.  Since there was no one to help provide him with any vital tourist information he decides that this will be a holiday based soley on SFA and meeting his children.  Priorities people, priorities.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak