Melbourne Swag

Dear Jesus Lover,

we have saved the best of Melbourne for last.  The trendiness of the city makes it impossible to have just one absolute favourite place to spend His Vatican bonds.  Who better than the masters at Harry Wragg to show the good Lord how to mix vintage and new.  It also helps that they really do have the best A-grade shit in town!

Mim shared with His Holiness the delights of one of a kind shoe designs.

The Lord even managed to sneak a little fun in the changing rooms!  It was a case of “What happens in Melbourne, stays in Melbourne” for this Brit tourist!

Group photo with His churchmice and the newly acquired fashion investments.  Armed with these acquisitions, the trendy generation will have no choice but to take notice of the Saviour, even if it’s the outfit and not the preaching.  As the marketing gurus say, “Any attention is good attention!”.

The Lord was spent after that fashion flurry at Harry Wragg.  He learned a few lessons on how to up His swag.  This called for a trip to Koko Black!

It was just what the doctor ordered….

Since He had His fill of milk chocolate, He had the tart and got some dark chocolate for later.

 The Lord is pleased with His flock in Melbourne, they have excelled at the most important aspects of life; food, fashion and opulent surroundings.  He will be back with more Vatican bonds to check that they have made further progress.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

Get some swag at Harry Wragg.

All Sorts of Indulgence in Melbourne!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The good Lord let Wheeze and Squeak have the full day exploring and burning a hole in their little pockets on Brunswick Street.  It doesn’t get trendier or sweatier than shopping there in 40 degree heat!  Freshening up was imperative before their dinner reservations at Spanish hot spot MOVIDA!

He waged another crusade on body odour and WON!

The floor to ceiling mirrrors were good for ensuring His hair was perfectly coiffed.

The Lord raided the mini bar for pre-dinner drinks.  It’s always good to get a head start!

He took pity on his flock and absolved the patrons of Movida of their sins, mainly gluttony.  It wasn’t their fault that the tapas was positively sinful!

Where else but the Crown Hotel and Casino to end a fabulous day!

He managed to supervise the hired minions taking down His birthday decorations.  Always micro-managing.

Even the lighting was big and fabulous!

The perfect way to end the day with in-your-face glitz, over-priced highstreet clothing and games of chance!  We love you Melbourne!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

Victorian Opulence

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lords took His chruchmice to the trendy city of Melbourne, much like a school trip but they flew Virgin Blue instead of taking the bus.  If there is only one thing He could take from His extensive travels it is; location, location, location.  They checked into the Grand Hyatt, a 5 star luxury hotel smack bang in the middle of Collins Street.  He loves the perks of having a flock which is afraid of being judged by their neighbours when the collection box gets passed round.

 Only a high floor would do, obviously – look at the view!

It reminded Him of one of Pitbull’s top 40 hits…

 ♫ Baby you can get it, if you with it we can play    

Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay    

Even got a king size mattress we can lay    

Baby I don’t care, I don’t care what they say    

I know you want me, want me    

 You know I want cha, want cha

But the sound of Wheeze and Squeak’s incessant chattering brought Him back to reality.

Where the Holiday Inn doesn’t provide L-shaped sofas, essential in the practice of proper lounging…

As with most things, BIGGER is BETTER!  His Holiness also appreciated the sleek, black design.  Silver TVs aren’t nearly as classy.

 

The Lord loves how in trying to provide everything, the hotel grouped all unnecessary items on the nightstand.

And all the necessary items together.

Look out Melbourne!!!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak