Melbourne Swag

Dear Jesus Lover,

we have saved the best of Melbourne for last.  The trendiness of the city makes it impossible to have just one absolute favourite place to spend His Vatican bonds.  Who better than the masters at Harry Wragg to show the good Lord how to mix vintage and new.  It also helps that they really do have the best A-grade shit in town!

Mim shared with His Holiness the delights of one of a kind shoe designs.

The Lord even managed to sneak a little fun in the changing rooms!  It was a case of “What happens in Melbourne, stays in Melbourne” for this Brit tourist!

Group photo with His churchmice and the newly acquired fashion investments.  Armed with these acquisitions, the trendy generation will have no choice but to take notice of the Saviour, even if it’s the outfit and not the preaching.  As the marketing gurus say, “Any attention is good attention!”.

The Lord was spent after that fashion flurry at Harry Wragg.  He learned a few lessons on how to up His swag.  This called for a trip to Koko Black!

It was just what the doctor ordered….

Since He had His fill of milk chocolate, He had the tart and got some dark chocolate for later.

 The Lord is pleased with His flock in Melbourne, they have excelled at the most important aspects of life; food, fashion and opulent surroundings.  He will be back with more Vatican bonds to check that they have made further progress.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

Get some swag at Harry Wragg.

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Spend! Spend! Spend!!!

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord has wined, dined, soaked up enough culture to last Him a good few lifetimes and smoked enough slim cigarettes to make the Marlboro man look so last decade.  Only one thing left for Him to do in this magical city – spend an obscene amount of cash (yes, CASH. Not cards because cash is truly king).  Where better to do this than the magical Avenue des Champs-Élysées, with its luxury speciality boutiques and the rows of pretty clipped horse chestnut trees?

 

 

Got a bit of traditional French leather love.  Even the ladybirds in France have good taste.

The Lord got paparazzi-ed when He posed for a snap with the famous Arc de Triomphe.  The celeb life can be so hard.

He is France personified.  Beautiful, androgynous, dressed in nothing but The Kooples, skinny and a slick slick waxed chest.  Jesus LOVES His Frenchies.

He had to stop to have some homemade gelato to cool Him down after His visit to The Kooples.  3 cones!  He gave them a good lick and decided it was too good to spit.  A definite swallow.

He’ll be back for He has fallen in love with His own masterpiece.  Au revoir Paris!

Rock Sur,

Wheeze & SQueak  

 

Downstream! Upstream! The river Seine, Paris

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord decided to make the most of the warmthand the sunshine and catch some rays.  What better way to top up His tan than whilst cruising down the famed river Seine?

He eyes up potential holiday homes.

Ooooh….

Ahhhhh… Like a tourist at the architecture.

He decided to treat Himself to a little ride.

He fell in love with the French beauty that pulled the carriage.  And made good friends with Pom Pom the horse with size 8 feet (up from the average 3).  Well hung.

Special treatment is the norm.  Pretty French man let His Holiness crack his whip!

Rock sur,

Wheeze & SQueak 

“Jesus Is The New Black” GaGa 2011

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Messiah is very grateful for the following He has received in recent times. However, He realises that he must stay current. It has been hard work for him getting in touch with the common man and showing you that catholic priest are not the only ones that can misbehave.

His Holiness decided to pay a visit to the local CD shop to see what were the latest offerings.

Browsing the racks (CDs and ladies) he realised that anything in the discount bin just does not satisfy.

Jesus then came across a certain individual – Lady GaGa. Turning overleaf, he got excited by such tracks like Judas, Electric Chapel, Bloody Mary and Black Jesus just to name a few.

This is exactly what the church needs – controversy to keep it current!

“Meet me later at electric chapel?”

Bloody Mary, never let me get with chicks like these!

Insert! Insert! Insert! Jesus is excited over insertion.

God’s choice – Government Hooker. Nothing like a bureaucrat to help you take the edge off. The experience is heightened if this bureaucrat can speak German. Imaging the tongue rolling involved.

Just like Jesus – say “NO” to piracy!

Rock On

Wheeze & SQueak