Chronical of “Under The Thumb”

Dear Jesus Lover,

today The Lord will show you a perfect example that all men are “under the thumb”.

Take perfect specimen:

“Its a lady’s way or the highway bitches”

Vasari’s Corridor! Commissioned to be built by one of the Dukes from the powerful Florentine Medici family in 1954. His son Francesco married a fierce woman who did not believe living near a sewer was glamours she demanded that Francesco lives a million miles from work. So this elevated covered walk-way was built to ensure a safe passage to work and a constant reminder that women rule!  Even Hitler loved the idea.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

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Life Lesson No.3: How to Be Faketastic!

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord understands sometimes you must pretend/put on a show/deceive/bullshit for personal gain.  Life is such and He is sympathetic to the trials of life.  But he insist that if you pretend/put on a show/deceive/bullshit for personal gain, you do it with flair, enthusiasm and even better if it’s for a good cause!

This Elvis impersonator is obviously missing the gaudy get up and a lot of hair.  This is poor Elvis fakery.  His Holiness was disappointed as he thought the memory and the music of the royalty of rock and roll deserved better.

BUT!!!

He found this gem!  He gave generously by text to save tiger cubs in the wild.

He hopes you have been inspired to take your performances of fakery to greater heights, be it fund-raising, talking your way out of law enforcement’s expensive evil grasp or the weekly blowjobligation.  If you are faking it – be faketastic!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak

A Pleasant Surprise

Dear Jesus Lover,

Saturday has come around again. Given the shocking past few weeks The Lord has had and his little talk with The Spaniard still fresh in his mind; He decided to put in a couple of extra hours at the office meeting, greeting and preaching.

 

He got out early and came across this….

 

The Messiah was feeling warm and fuzzy from the love.

He thought this was a very appropriate illustration of one of his 10 commandments:

Love thy neighbour. The Messiah hopes you do the same. He is grateful that he put in the extra hours at the office so he could come across this gem.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Life Lesson No.2: Be Thankful

Dear Jesus Lovers,

Monday is upon you like a weekly plague.  Know that this suffering is only temporary, until 5pm or earlier if you have been blessed with a saintly employer.  Leave promptly for corporations are the work of Satan and will drain you of all wit and happiness.  Go to the Swedish institution, IKEA and give into temptation.  Buy all manner of impossibly cheap household wares and feast on meatballs.  Be thankful you do not work in one of their sweatshops and feel infinately better.  He has blessed you with 9 to 5, beer and cheap household wares.

 

Even Jesus loves a co-ordinated bargain.

 

Visit the restaurant where your meal is also self-service, of poor quality but too good to resist. 

 

Feast on 50% synthethic meatballs.

 

He is the Light.

 

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak