Slinking Through Sydney….

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is apologetic about the slight hiatus in posting.  He has been tied up doing the obligatory tourist thing with SQueak when Wheeze came for a visit.  It’s a good thing His churchmice know the importance of Him having a good time!

He decided the best place to start was close to home, hitting the tourist spots along Darling Harbour.  So off they went to WILD LIFE!

He used this opportunity to visit some of his creations and show His love doesn’t discriminate.  He loves all creatures, big, small and even ugly.

 

And stupid.  Like the Emus.

And lazy.  Like Koalas whose species have single-handedly elevated the phrase ‘Eat, Sleep and Shit’ to greater heights.

He was economical and purchased the Combo Pass so they could go to the Sydney Aquarium too.

He was not impressed with the lighting which didn’t highlight His favourite features.

 Some of the exhibits reminded him of the Amalfi coast.  But it was obviously no substitute and lacking His shrivelled, leathery, overcooked followers.

 He was pleased to bump into Ariel of ‘The Little Mermaid’ fame  (he’d seen pictures of her in the tabloids recently and sadly it looked like she had let herself go).  She had obviously had some work done.  Same-same but different texture.   His Holiness also commented on how women have become more plastic in the last 2000 years.

He also took a snap with his old fabled pal M. Dick!

His Holiness also noticed society’s renewed fascination with sex and how much importance is placed on size.  He had a little giggle since He did not make every equal!  The Lord hopes that this joke will long continue and has left it in the very capable hands of authors, editors and publishers of children’s  books to continue drilling it into the next generation!

He decided he had enough with the tourist in Sydney and thought His churchmice deserved a treat – TRENDY MELBOURNE!

Rock on!

Wheeze & SQueak

Arrivederci Amalfi, Ti Amo!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is spending his last day on the Amalfi Coast. He is spending today, tying up loose ends and finishing his trip on a high. After some much needed rays and SFA (sweet fuck all) at the pebbled beach, he tottles off to the Cathedral of Amalfi.

No mountain too high, no hill to steep!

“Come follow me” – words that St. Andrew followed, look what he got for it.

…A pretty crypt on one of the best coast in the world (location, location, location). It pays to be a fisherman and follow strangers! Jesus will be heading back home after a long trip living la dolce vita and is glad to know that his houses are still raking in the dollars. He shared his life with you, the least you could do is share some dollars with him. Bible sales up!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Cruising To Capri

Dear Jesus Lover,

today The Lord is day tripping over to the luxury resort littered island of Capri. The Vatican budget did not include stays in the place where Beyonce and Jay-Z hang in the summer.

Working on his eurotrash tan.

Not quite La Paolino but He was on a tight budget and strict instructions to rub shoulders with the common middle class.

Another standard tourist shot at Faraglione.

Keeping with the budget theme – even for transportation.

On his last day, The Messiah will wind up his trip and tying up some loose ends.  He cannot wait to head home , he misses Wheeze who stayed away from the hot weather (she melts easily).

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

 

 

Ravelling In Ravello

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord apologises for his slight blogging hiatus. There has been a tragedy in his church mice colony and Wheeze & Squeak were given time off to cope with this.

 

Jesus is continuing his SFA at the Amalfi Coast. Today, Claudio took him to Ravello. He will be visiting the musical stage and 2 of the main villas there.

 

“Children – listen to me preach!”

The Lord loves Ravello, a favourite haunt for similar legends of biblical proportions for example the late Greta Garbo, Tennesse Williams and Sara Teasdale. The Ravello Festival when the musical geniuses gather, started in remembrance of  Richard Wagner, the tickets attract a heafty sum annually. The let The Messiah take stage despite being slightly tone deaf.

He then hopped skipped and jumped in Villa Rufolo and Villa Cimbrone where there horizon meets the sea.

Standard tourist shot – a must!

In the courtyard before walking on the Judas tree lined walkway. Trust Judas to want to steal the limelight!

The Lord really enjoyed his time in Ravello. He enjoys spending time with the musicians who love GREENERY as an inspiration for good music!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

Take Me To Amalfi

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is done with these city folk (ie. american tourist) and is heading off to the Amalfi Coast. Like a true Italian; he does not want to spend summer in the city!

“Trenitalia Eurostar – free snacks to those in first class”

Claudio the driver – manoeuvred the hairpin turns of Amalfi like a pro.

(Jesus still couldn’t help himself but backseat drive)

True SFA

Jesus wants to remind all his readers that whale watching should only be done out at sea. He smites those that spoilt the scenery by making him “beach whale watch” instead.

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

The Smite-ing Ground

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is headed in his Prada toga to the Colosseum. A place where everything and anything was done in the name of a good time.

 

” When is the venation*

“All the stray lambs that I need to lead to slaughter”

The Messiah was disappointed at the lack of bloodshed on the day. Gone are the good ‘ol times of reenactment and unnecessary death – damn these public liability laws and common decency!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak

 

* venatio = animal hunt

Leaving The Past

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord has realised that he has spent a large proportion (he likes large proportions) of his time living in the past. Today he decides to shake it up, visiting an exhibit from Testino.

Have to admire a man who can get models to drop their clothes in a second and get into every position you ask them.

Jesus’s suspicion was put to a rest – Kate Moss leaves a bush!

He is of biblical proportions – no one said he was large.

The Lord then decided to do some conspicuous consumption of leather goods. The italians sure provide good skin.  He finished off his day visiting Farnesina, keeping in with the contemporary theme.

Removing the need for his disciples to wash his feet. Its a democracy.

Rock On, 

Wheeze & SQueak