Victorian Opulence

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lords took His chruchmice to the trendy city of Melbourne, much like a school trip but they flew Virgin Blue instead of taking the bus.  If there is only one thing He could take from His extensive travels it is; location, location, location.  They checked into the Grand Hyatt, a 5 star luxury hotel smack bang in the middle of Collins Street.  He loves the perks of having a flock which is afraid of being judged by their neighbours when the collection box gets passed round.

 Only a high floor would do, obviously – look at the view!

It reminded Him of one of Pitbull’s top 40 hits…

 ♫ Baby you can get it, if you with it we can play    

Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay    

Even got a king size mattress we can lay    

Baby I don’t care, I don’t care what they say    

I know you want me, want me    

 You know I want cha, want cha

But the sound of Wheeze and Squeak’s incessant chattering brought Him back to reality.

Where the Holiday Inn doesn’t provide L-shaped sofas, essential in the practice of proper lounging…

As with most things, BIGGER is BETTER!  His Holiness also appreciated the sleek, black design.  Silver TVs aren’t nearly as classy.

 

The Lord loves how in trying to provide everything, the hotel grouped all unnecessary items on the nightstand.

And all the necessary items together.

Look out Melbourne!!!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Stairway to Heaven

Dear Jesus Lover,

Monday is upon us again.  He is dragging his feet all the way to the Office.  Sometimes even the Boss has to look like He is mucking in with the rest.  But He draws the line at photocopying for that is a task for His secretarial bitches.

He embraces technology on the commute to work.  No rush hour traffic.  Ever.

Jesus and his administrative army of white fluff.  The team behind all your answered and unanswered prayers.

Work hard, delegate wherever possible, never accept blame, do overtime so you may be paid to go on Facebook after hours and enthusiastically lick superior ass so one day you too might have your own office and an army of administrative bitches.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak