The Lord is spending his last day on the Amalfi Coast. He is spending today, tying up loose ends and finishing his trip on a high. After some much needed rays and SFA (sweet fuck all) at the pebbled beach, he tottles off to the Cathedral of Amalfi.
No mountain too high, no hill to steep!
“Come follow me” – words that St. Andrew followed, look what he got for it.
…A pretty crypt on one of the best coast in the world (location, location, location). It pays to be a fisherman and follow strangers! Jesus will be heading back home after a long trip living la dolce vita and is glad to know that his houses are still raking in the dollars. He shared his life with you, the least you could do is share some dollars with him. Bible sales up!
the Lord was suitably impressed with yesterday’s visit to the oldest church in Paris. Today He has decided to see if all the publicity from Angels and Demons has made any difference to Église Saint-Sulpice. They were under strict orders to sell as many candles to the terrified as possible and he wants to see if they have met the quota.
Candles! That’s €2 burning right there!
Love how they even have a photo of Joseph (that’s Pope Benedict XVI to you).
Checking out the confession facilities. 10 Hail Marys and last night’s visit to that establishment is forgiven.
He found the root of the problem. It was clear early Catholic priests favoured boys too much, so much so they carved it into marble and passed that love on. He studied the composition, the pervy gaze, baby on lap and pulling up other child’s skirt. He lit a candle for their innocence and vowed to review the priest syllabus – perhaps more emphasis on discretion and bribery.
A must before He left!
Now with business all taken care of His Holiness can truly enjoy the sights, sounds, food and people of Paris!
since His Holiness is billing the Vatican for His expenses He chose to get the business part of the trip done and over with. He spent the day in Paris’ oldest church, Paroissee Saint-Germain-des-Prés.
His flock has to be reminded of His high tolerance for pain. Loved the dramatic set up.
Equal opportunities for all. Both sexes can love Him and He loves both sexes. It’s a two-way street.
He loves animals too.
He loved the violence. Nothing better than a prepubescent priest wielding a cross stomping on a severed head on the Lord’s book to send the right message. He will smite you wet blankets!!! Also give generously.
The Lord is off to visit Saint Sulpice tomorrow and see what all the movie hype was about.
The Lord decided to do a little spot check at one of the local historic churches. He was pleased to see that its doors were open between services and the £2 he put into collection box made a healthy clank.
Loving the stained glass and high imposing ceilings.
The Messiah burned his finger in all the excitement. He loved the romantic feel.
Tested out the pews.
Checked out the reading material. Up to date!
Family portrait. The Messiah concluded He looks better in resin.
He felt right at home with the mini display and thanked them for their efforts.
He faced up to his fear of nails.
He said 10 Hail Marys and absolved himself of sin.