Victorian Opulence

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lords took His chruchmice to the trendy city of Melbourne, much like a school trip but they flew Virgin Blue instead of taking the bus.  If there is only one thing He could take from His extensive travels it is; location, location, location.  They checked into the Grand Hyatt, a 5 star luxury hotel smack bang in the middle of Collins Street.  He loves the perks of having a flock which is afraid of being judged by their neighbours when the collection box gets passed round.

 Only a high floor would do, obviously – look at the view!

It reminded Him of one of Pitbull’s top 40 hits…

 ♫ Baby you can get it, if you with it we can play    

Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay    

Even got a king size mattress we can lay    

Baby I don’t care, I don’t care what they say    

I know you want me, want me    

 You know I want cha, want cha

But the sound of Wheeze and Squeak’s incessant chattering brought Him back to reality.

Where the Holiday Inn doesn’t provide L-shaped sofas, essential in the practice of proper lounging…

As with most things, BIGGER is BETTER!  His Holiness also appreciated the sleek, black design.  Silver TVs aren’t nearly as classy.

 

The Lord loves how in trying to provide everything, the hotel grouped all unnecessary items on the nightstand.

And all the necessary items together.

Look out Melbourne!!!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak 

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Slinking Through Sydney….

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is apologetic about the slight hiatus in posting.  He has been tied up doing the obligatory tourist thing with SQueak when Wheeze came for a visit.  It’s a good thing His churchmice know the importance of Him having a good time!

He decided the best place to start was close to home, hitting the tourist spots along Darling Harbour.  So off they went to WILD LIFE!

He used this opportunity to visit some of his creations and show His love doesn’t discriminate.  He loves all creatures, big, small and even ugly.

 

And stupid.  Like the Emus.

And lazy.  Like Koalas whose species have single-handedly elevated the phrase ‘Eat, Sleep and Shit’ to greater heights.

He was economical and purchased the Combo Pass so they could go to the Sydney Aquarium too.

He was not impressed with the lighting which didn’t highlight His favourite features.

 Some of the exhibits reminded him of the Amalfi coast.  But it was obviously no substitute and lacking His shrivelled, leathery, overcooked followers.

 He was pleased to bump into Ariel of ‘The Little Mermaid’ fame  (he’d seen pictures of her in the tabloids recently and sadly it looked like she had let herself go).  She had obviously had some work done.  Same-same but different texture.   His Holiness also commented on how women have become more plastic in the last 2000 years.

He also took a snap with his old fabled pal M. Dick!

His Holiness also noticed society’s renewed fascination with sex and how much importance is placed on size.  He had a little giggle since He did not make every equal!  The Lord hopes that this joke will long continue and has left it in the very capable hands of authors, editors and publishers of children’s  books to continue drilling it into the next generation!

He decided he had enough with the tourist in Sydney and thought His churchmice deserved a treat – TRENDY MELBOURNE!

Rock on!

Wheeze & SQueak