Caramelise The World…

Dear Jesus Lover,

it’s that time of year for me to plan a partay!

Once a year you illuminate phallus shaped objects in my honour.

Mammary gland disguised as rotary device – nice one zumbo!

Tasting the party food amongst his villagers.

Kawaii animae GROs*!

Going in for the purchase, not just the average free – sample. Trying is for buying.

Roman catholics provide the best service. “Milo, please!”

Spares, cos Santa ALWAYS rapes the buffet.

Happy ending. Always.

Don’t forget this is the season for giving not just receiving. Be silly but safe.

God’s choice:

Adriano Zumbo Patissier: 80 Pyrmont Street, Pyrmont

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak


* GRO = guest relation officer.

 

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Arrivederci Amalfi, Ti Amo!

Dear Jesus Lover,

The Lord is spending his last day on the Amalfi Coast. He is spending today, tying up loose ends and finishing his trip on a high. After some much needed rays and SFA (sweet fuck all) at the pebbled beach, he tottles off to the Cathedral of Amalfi.

No mountain too high, no hill to steep!

“Come follow me” – words that St. Andrew followed, look what he got for it.

…A pretty crypt on one of the best coast in the world (location, location, location). It pays to be a fisherman and follow strangers! Jesus will be heading back home after a long trip living la dolce vita and is glad to know that his houses are still raking in the dollars. He shared his life with you, the least you could do is share some dollars with him. Bible sales up!

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Cruising To Capri

Dear Jesus Lover,

today The Lord is day tripping over to the luxury resort littered island of Capri. The Vatican budget did not include stays in the place where Beyonce and Jay-Z hang in the summer.

Working on his eurotrash tan.

Not quite La Paolino but He was on a tight budget and strict instructions to rub shoulders with the common middle class.

Another standard tourist shot at Faraglione.

Keeping with the budget theme – even for transportation.

On his last day, The Messiah will wind up his trip and tying up some loose ends.  He cannot wait to head home , he misses Wheeze who stayed away from the hot weather (she melts easily).

Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak