Dear Jesus Lover,

in line with His recent attempts to shape up, the Messiah is being very careful about what He eats.  Your body is a temple and it’s only right that you do not consume trash.  Too often.  Sushi was the obvious choice.  The cute smiling pussy lured him in!

That hypnotic wave…

He took a quick tour before deciding to order instead of picking the stuff on the belt because He has uncommon tastebuds.

Where’s the sea urchin roe?

Done!  Bill please!

Even the chef couldn’t resist a quick man-hug (hence the sheepish expression).  The Lord was happy to oblige a fan.

His Holiness loves the Japanese and their kawaii objects of enticement and their quick, small filling meals.  Sayonara!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak  


Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord’s schedule has been packed full of travel and decadence in the last few months.  He’s begun to see the side effects of the good life – lovehandles!  He decided its high time He shape up before His upcoming trip to the Far East (Hong Kong!!!).  The Messiah decided it was high time to update his fitness related wardrobe.  More Lycra would be good motivation!

Boinggg!!  He tested the display and decided that He might purchase one for His extra-curricular activities.

He didn’t understand why these didn’t come in different sizes.  Those “parts” were never standard issues.

The ladies section caught His eye and He got into a passionate discussion about which type of garment was better.  This?

Or this?

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Soaking Up The Last of The Sun

Dear Jesus Lover,

today is the Lord’s last day in the Gold Coast.  He decided to squeeze in a little bit more tanning before He caught His flight home.  Only in the Gold Coast can you get a tan in winter!

GTL.  Never neglect Tan even if G and L are somewhat impossible.

He waited for His taxi in the lobby.  Killing two birds with one stone and catching the last bit of QL rays.

To the airport and pronto please!!!  I have a Virgin to catch!

 Although He understood that self-service was a necessary evil, the experience lacked the personal touch.

The Messiah will miss the cheerful people from the Gold Coast and the sunshine.

Rock on,

 Wheeze & SQueak

Science Week? Put Your Reading Glasses ON!

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord heard a rumour that lots of nerdy animal healers had converged in the Gold Coast for some sort of yearly academic tradition.  He decided to take a trip down to check out the nerdy animal healers and show them His support.

TAXI!!!!  He didn’t want to be late for the awards ceremony, the dinner and most importantly – the drinks!

40 years!  Toast?! TOAST!!

 He realised that most of these vets hide behind poorly made assumptions.  They are not nerdy!  The Lord enjoyed the night seeing the bottom of shot glasses…


Rock On,

Wheeze & SQueak 

Pleasures of Black Masked Men

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord was leisurely strolling along the street hoping to bump into more meter maids and looking for a place to top up on His cigarettes when He spotted these outside the tobacconist!

He was intrigued.  They were sort of like Kenny off South Park but more well dressed.

It appeared they weren’t intrigued.  Just smitten.  They came in handy for a lift to the counter when He was asking for His Lucky Strikes.

 The Lord was appalled at the poor suture work but likes the idea of spares.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak  

Still Rocking it Hard! (2)

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Lord loves the Hard Rock hospitality so much he celebrates His children and embraces His feminine side with a perfectly mixed glass of liquid joy.

He loves the extra large glasses.  They know their Messiah likes it BIG.

He was very merry thanks to effective glass sizes and stood on the tables to pose for photos.  Had to show everyone that He is the ultimate Superstar!

Post liquid lunch He supported the franchise by purchasing a commemorative cap.  It might not be His prefered style but He had to show some love.

He paid tribute to the other King.  King of rock and roll!

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak  

Hard Rock Cafe (1)

Dear Jesus Lover,

the Messiah thought he’d grab an iconic bite before hitting the beach again.  What better place than the Hard Rock Cafe?

The iconic at iconic places.

The Lord was very pleased with the warm and enthusiastic welcome.

It was better than Hooters and their “see no touch” policy.  He liked how the staff here worked up his appetite.

He chose to go with the latest fad diet.  A liquid lunch.  Less calories than a double burger and He walks (read: stumbles) out happier!

The perfect starter… Maybe a Margarita for the main?  He is fond of them Mexicans.

Rock on,

Wheeze & SQueak