Dear Jesus Lovers,
Monday is upon you like a weekly plague. Know that this suffering is only temporary, until 5pm or earlier if you have been blessed with a saintly employer. Leave promptly for corporations are the work of Satan and will drain you of all wit and happiness. Go to the Swedish institution, IKEA and give into temptation. Buy all manner of impossibly cheap household wares and feast on meatballs. Be thankful you do not work in one of their sweatshops and feel infinately better. He has blessed you with 9 to 5, beer and cheap household wares.
Even Jesus loves a co-ordinated bargain.
Visit the restaurant where your meal is also self-service, of poor quality but too good to resist.
Feast on 50% synthethic meatballs.
He is the Light.
Wheeze & SQueak